Great Morning Team,
I am keenly aware that if I read this title above weeks ago, I would have had an auto-response to the tune of “Yeah, right.”, and then moved on, as throughout the years I have not been able to figure out how or where to begin to change my way of thinking to be kinder and gentler with myself. Like many perfectionists, we aim to get things right…better than right…. We want things to be perfect. We suffer for embracing this type of self-motivation as well. Initially it all sounds great. Who doesn’t want to strive for perfection? Though in the end, even the simplest mistakes can sometimes feel devastating, and sadly, we can be harder on ourselves than anyone else could be.
Recently, life circumstances involving a great deal of change with new regiments and creating new habits for myself have forced me to work harder on my Edge of Patience than ever before. All of this change has required me to slow down and deal directly with giving myself more grace than I ever have. Am I still aiming for great, even perfect results? Of course. However, if I inadvertently miss something, or it’s not exactly perfect, I am learning how not to beat myself up about it, but rather be much gentler with me, and allowing myself to learn from trial and error and mistakes in a positive way. Having the courage to shift my mindset in this way provides perspective to understand that the world isn’t going to fall apart if everything doesn’t go exactly as planned and additionally, allows for the positive thoughts of what went well to come into play.
Beyond this positive mindset, it also aligns with one of the principles of our Growth Culture: All mistakes are valued, and even more valuable when we learn from them. What I have realized over time is that while we are experimenting, testing, making mistakes, and failing well, there is tremendous value in allowing ourselves to be self-compassionate through it all, and it takes courage to do so. It’s another reason why the Practice of “Do-Over’s” is so important. It gives us permission to say openly that we have made a mistake, invites the support from others, and provides us with the opportunity to try again and make things better.
Enclosed is a link to an article from LifeStance Health titled, “How Being Gentle with Yourself Changes You (And How You Feel About Yourself)”, (Click here for article) which discusses the positive changes that can occur when we allow ourselves the ability to be kind and gentle with ourselves.
What are your thoughts? What Practices have you discovered over time that help provide perspective to be kinder and gentler to you? Feel free to comment and share your thoughts below.
Wishing you all a Better We, Better Week! 😊
Lori Beth
