Great Morning Team,
The title above was the name of an actual session offered at the annual SHRM conference I attended two weeks ago. Given our recent work with No Fault Formula to enhance our communication with each other, it piqued my curiosity, so I decided to check it out. The session was led by Ryan Leak, speaker, executive coach, filmmaker and author of the books, “Leveling Up:12 Questions to Elevate Your Personal and Professional Development”, “Chasing Failure: How Falling Short Sets You Up for Success,” and his latest book to be released in March, 2025, “How to Work with Complicated People: Strategies for Effective Collaboration with (Nearly) Anyone.” Pre-order here.
What I learned was rather eye-opening. First, it’s important to note that complicated doesn’t necessarily mean “bad”. It just means “complicated.” We are all unique and intricate. Next, Leak shared that “complicated” is in the eye of the beholder. One individual’s perspective of ‘complicated’ could be another individual’s viewpoint of ‘easy going’. He also shared the surprising statistic that 80% of working Americans find complicated individuals exhausting. So, what do we do? In addition to utilizing our No Fault Formula model to help us become more skillful and effective in our everyday communication with others, Leak suggests we work hard to understand others, which means we need to work hard to understand ourselves. The reality is we are ALL complicated in the eyes of someone. We need to realize our own complications, and ask ourselves, “Do you know what it’s like to be on the other side of me?” What this question is asking is how self-aware we are. (I get this painfully, as at times, I can exhaust ME…😊)
According to Leak, there are some strategies that will enable us to work effectively and cohesively with just about anyone, and it begins with our own growth mindset:
- Follow the “Golden Rule”- Approach others as we would want someone to approach us.
- Adjust our own expectations. Make a list of what you can and cannot control.
- Be open and be curious to allow others to grow on us.
- Even if a person never changes, it doesn’t mean WE can’t.
- We can’t always control our circumstances, but we CAN control our attitudes.
- Leverage positivity in our attitude’s to influence theirs. Attitudes are contagious and can create a chain reaction, where we each can influence over 8000 interactions in a day!
- Regardless of the size of our influence, we can leverage it for the good of someone else.
Some Experiments to Try:
- Explore using gratitude as a mindset in everything you do. When you try this, ask yourself if you are beginning to see people differently?
- This one might be harder for us all: Give up complaining for one week. Instead of protesting, what would happen if we simply said “Yes”?
Check out more from Ryan Leak at this 14 minute Keynote from Speakers.com packed with humor and humility, as he encourages each of us to look inward. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAZwZOLXOZs Thoughts on this? Feel free to share in the comments section below!
Wishing you all a Better We, Better Week! 😊
Lori Beth
